Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
