My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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