went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
