I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
ugly people sure do ruin things
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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