ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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