Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
