im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
