I hate your face
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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