He is an equal opportunity slut.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
