I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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