yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
