I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Come share oat with me in your robe
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
