only if we run a train.
done.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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