her facebook's as public as her vagina
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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