nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
