I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
