I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
