I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
