You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
