Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
