my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I didn't notice because vodka
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
