How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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