Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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