we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
