you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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