Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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