You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
