so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
