and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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