I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
third nipple confirmed
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
