I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
