I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
