I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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