we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She's the barista slut.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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