Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
