so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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