I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The air was thick with penises
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
