Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Randomize
