so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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