tonight lets celebrate not being married
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
