I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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