I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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