around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
