I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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