I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
