He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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