weddingsv make me drug and hornr
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
