I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You were trust falling into bushes
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
