Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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