Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
