I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
