When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
